Natalie's New Normal
by ElectricAlice
Summary: Ever since her mom left, Natalie's world has revolved around her dad's new attitude and the one person who is the shining light of her life.
1. Chapter 1

Natalie rolled over in her bed, the light of the sun coaxing her out into the world, the same, sick world that she had hated for years. She didn't feel the urge to get up anymore; every day was a struggle, and nothing made it better.

Well, Henry made it better. A lot better. But ever since he took a part time job at the music store, he wasn't around nearly as much as Natalie needed him to be.

Around 10:30, Natalie finally found the tiny amount of strength required to get out of bed. She zipped on a hoodie over her pajamas, then slowly made her way downstairs.

_Please be okay today…please be okay today…_ Natalie thought as she glanced around the corner into the kitchen. But sure enough, there were three plates set out on the table. Dan, her dad, sat in front of one of them, slowly eating the eggs and toast. The same meal was on the other two plates: one for her, and one for _him._

When her mom was still at home, she never made him breakfast. But Dan made an extra plate every once and a while, leaving Natalie to clean it up later.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Dan said, glancing up briefly. Natalie nodded in acknowledgement, remaining silent. She grabbed her plate and took it back up to her room.

She had sworn off drugs ever since her mom left, but every day became harder and harder to stay away. She longed for the distraction the drugs gave her, the instant buzz that took her away from the nightmare that was her life. But Henry made her swear, so she kept her promise. But there were some days when she had to fight the temptation to go to a party, to ask the druggies at her school for a taste, just a small portion of what she wanted so badly.

But she kept her promise. For him.

She still kept a straight A report card, even if it meant staying up til 6 in the morning to get the work done. She didn't even notice the exhaustion anymore. It was just part of her life. The constant feeling of being unwanted, unneeded – that was normal. It was just her life.

In the silence, Natalie's phone buzzed to life with a series of short vibrations. _Henry_, the screen read. Natalie smiled – he was the one spot of light in her day, the only thing that kept her going. Sometimes she feared that he would leave her, that he would finally realize how truly insane she was. But he stuck with her, holding her when she cried, talking her out of ending everything. He was the love of her life. But she was scared that the feeling wasn't mutual.


	2. Chapter 2

As she approached the café where she was to meet Henry, Natalie twisted her fingers around each other. Why was she so nervous? He had told her that he loved her, and who was she to doubt him? Just as she started to contemplate turning around and going back home, she heard his voice.

"Nat!"

She saw his smile first. His beautiful, beautiful smile. His mass of black curls bobbed up and down as he shyly dipped his head. Before she knew it, she was running into his arms, practically throwing herself at him. But he embraced her, wrapping his warmth around her tiny cold body. She nested her head into his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of hers.

Just being near him calmed her down immediately. But being in a public place, she pulled away in fear of humiliation.

Natalie and Henry took their seats at a near table, two cups of coffee between them. Natalie was shaking, a nervous twitch she had developed since her mom left. Henry noticed the timid trembles of her hand.

"How bad is it today?" he asked quietly. Natalie just shook her head, not even able to explain the pain.

_Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head?_

"Natalie, it won't get better unless you talk to me."

_Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?_

"Natalie, I know your dad is hurting, and I know you are too."

_It's like living on a cliffside not knowing when you'll dive._

"Please, Nat. Tell me what I can do to help you."

_Do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?_

Natalie's body shook with the sudden oncoming storm of tears. Every emotion she had felt in the past few months overtook her entire body, leaving her sobbing at the café table. Henry just stood up and wrapped his arms around her, gently rocking her back and forth.

"Shh, shh. It's all right. I'm here. I'm here." He held her tight, not showing any sign of letting go, and softly kissed the crown of her head. "I know, Natalie. I know. It's okay."

She shook her head against his warm, sturdy body, such a contrast to her cold, trembling one. With a shaking voice, she said her first words of the day.

"You don't know."


End file.
